JUST DO IT

The truth is, is that if I feel I have to do something, I don’t do it. I have to want to do it in order to do it. No NIKE cliché of “JUST DO IT” happens here, and for some crazy reason I can’t make myself “JUST DO IT”! I have to feel needed, or as if I’m doing someone a favor, rather than doing things just for me. So how is it that I can get the “have to”, the “need to”, and the “favor” to become the “want to”?

I have no answer for any of this. There are so many things I want to do, but never do. I know that I can, I know how to, but alas I don’t do it. For instance, I want to lose weight, correction, I need to lose weight. For many reasons this weight has to come off, health, children, and most important my clothes are getting really tight! I don’t want to buy new clothes, I still have fairly new clothes that I just blew right by in my weight gain process, and if I were to just lose SOME weight, I would fit right in them and have some good pants to wear. Heck I have even lost weight in the past.

A year ago I lost 40 pounds!! I felt great, looked good, and was very pleased with myself, a little too pleased, and then it happened. Like an old annoying friend that you thought you got rid of by, not calling him, not inviting him to parties, not accepting his constant barrages of friend request on Facebook. A moment of weakness presents itself and there he is!! Calling every day to tell you how he was “the man” on the basketball court, posting on Facebook why haven’t you POKED him back! For all your friends to read. Always there at the most inopportune time. To the point that, his calls aren’t that bad, you finally poke him back just to shut him up, and before you know it, you're back in those BIG BOY pants you swore you would never wear again!! UGHHH!!

That’s what you hate about him, it’s that he lets you know that you are week! So I’ll try again, but now it’s not with that same enthusiasm, it’s more like now I know I can’t follow through, just try again only to fail. Very pessimistically, and un-encouraged. It’s the same for most of the things I do in life and writing is no different. I’ll write for a while, do great a short period of time and then I’m reminded of who I am. Someone who starts and never finishes. The weak minded person that I am, the cup always half empty, the pessimistic.

You know, it’s not all that bad, and I’m not really that down on myself as my writing would leave you to believe. It’s mostly for dramatic affect and makes for good reading. The truth is that I have but very few regrets in my life. I have three wonderful children, a successful wife, a roof over my head, and many more blessing from God that I give thanks for everyday. I just wish that, as I travel down the roads that I do, there were small signs that read “we need you to” or “I need your help”, maybe then it would make me “want to”, and not “Just do it”, but to “JUST KEEP DOING IT”!