Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I'm Coming Out Part Deux



Being from a family four brothers, no sisters, and a strong mother, one of us had to pick up her tenacity in the kitchen. I would love to help my mom cook and bake. The results, I can cook better than most women, and bake the best cakes you will ever taste.

It doesn’t end there. My mom also wanted some cultural diversity in our lives, so again she insisted that we attend the opera, and symphony on a regular basis. Now this is where I fell in love with music. Tchaikovsky opened up a vault in my mind that has yet to be closed, and I doubt it ever will. My genre of music includes the likes of Benny Goodman, Ella Fitzgerald all the way over to songs from Metallica. But when you look at my favorites you tend to see a slight pattern, Depeche Mode, The Smiths, Joy Division, Boy George, The Cure… I’ll stop there.

Something else most people don’t know about me is that I was a gymnast, and being a gymnast, I also took ballet classes for my flexibility. So there you go, music preference check, cooking and baking check, ballet check, what else? Oh yes! There’s the art school I attended. There I would develop all types of artistic talents. From oil, pastels, water color, and charcoal to art history, color coordination, and basket weaving. Yes friends I can do macramé! I can also decorate and arrange flowers.

So now let’s recap, Listening to The Smiths (Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me), baking a wonderful black peppered crusted salmon with asparagus and white wine, Crème Brule for desert, as the artists fill the ambiance with colors and creativity. Does this sound like a man with a strong feminine side? “Gay?” Well not really, not to me.

To me it sounds like a man that has an awesome mother, a mom that cares so much for her children that her likeness was imposed on a man, me. And for that I will continue to be who I am. A person, who can listen, learn, and create, all while loving life. If all this entails that I am gay, then so be it. But if you ask me I will tell you, “Sorry, I am NOT gay.”

Saturday, May 8, 2010

I'm coming out!!





That’s right friends I’m coming out of the closet! And you will hear it first. I AM NOT GAY!! Well I’m sure that's what most people who know me, already know. What they don’t know is that “sorry I’m not gay” is what I have had to say for a long time.

It started when I was about 22 years old, well ok longer than that, but when It started me questioning myself. I was 22, and was invited to a party by a co-worker who had a brother that is gay. The beer and dancing went on all night long. When the party ended I offered to stay and help clean up. This is where it gets steamy!! Ha ha, jk. But after we finished cleaning, me my friend and his brother stayed up later just talking, soon my friend would go to bed and it was just me and the brother. Sounds like a story right? But I tell you I’m not making this up. I couldn’t even if I tried.

Well we stayed up all night just talking about all sorts of subjects. When I looked out the window, and saw that the sun was coming up. I told him that I really have to go, and that I had a great time hanging out with him. His first reply, was for me to just admit it. Admit what? I asked. Admit that you’re gay he said. What? Me gay? Sorry bro. I’m not gay. Just because I enjoyed your company, talked about fun stuff, and drank with you till the sun came up doesn’t mean that I’m gay. His response, no, not that, although it was nice. It’s just that, the things you talked about, the things you like, they're all qualities that most gay men have. What!! Gay qualities????

I had no idea that the things I liked and appreciated were considered gay. I was oblivious to this, and so the years went by and “sorry, I’m not gay” was something I said regularly. So, now I know the next question you might want to know. What are these qualities?

Well again I have to go years back. Stay tuned..